The Hidden Strength of Self Care: Essential Benefits of Massage for Unpaid Carers

Unpaid carers are the quiet backbone of our communities. They give round the clock support, emotional care, and practical help, often at the expense of their own health and wellbeing. Too often their rest and self-care fall to the bottom of the list.

This is why I want to share the story of Donna, a local carer, and highlight the work of Northamptonshire Carers. Together, they show how small moments of self care can create a ripple effect of relief, resilience, and renewed strength.

Who Are Northamptonshire Carers?

Northamptonshire Carers is a carer led organisation dedicated to improving the lives of carers and those they look after. Their services include:

• Information and advice

• Carers’ assessments and signposting

• Support groups and cafés

• Crisis planning and emergency support

• Wellbeing workshops and holistic therapies

• Tailored support for young carers, parent carers, and carers of those with health conditions

Many of these services are free, and carers can self refer online or by phone. For many, the charity is a lifeline that provides connection, respite, and access to essential support.

It was through Northamptonshire Carers that Donna was able to have conversations around what would support her wellbeing in her caring role. She identified that massage would benefit her.

Donna’s Story

Donna is a single mother of three children. Her two youngest live with severe additional needs including autism, ADHD, seizures, and self-harming behaviours. Although their father offers consistent support, he does not live with them so much of the daily burden falls on Donna’s shoulders.

Physically, this has left her with constant tension in her shoulders and painful lower back strain from carrying and holding her children. Emotionally, she often feels burnt out, exhausted, and guilty for even thinking of her own needs.

Donna booked a package of 10 back massage sessions. We quickly realised that by planning them in the mornings after the school run, it meant that she could return to a unusually quiet, empty house, giving her space to rest undisturbed.

Over the sessions Donna has attended so far, she has reported:

• Noticeably reduced back and shoulder pain, especially after holding or lifting

• Less muscular tightness and stiffness, improved mobility

• A deeper ability to relax during sessions, and carry that calm forward

• A renewed sense of permission to pause, to receive, and understanding that she deserved self care

• The psychological boost of having something that is solely for her

• Increased capacity to return to daily caring tasks with a bit more resilience

Why Massage Helps Carers

Massage is more than a treat. Studies show it can:

• Reduce pain and muscle tension

• Lower anxiety and stress levels

• Improve mood and energy

• Support better sleep and recovery

For carers, massage offers both physical relief and the emotional release of being nurtured. In Donna’s case, it has become a lifeline, helping her continue her caring role with more strength and less pain.

How Carers Can Build Self Care Into Daily Life

Self care does not need to be time consuming or costly. Small, regular steps can make a big difference:

• Take micro breaks: three slow deep breaths, a gentle stretch, or a quiet cup of tea

• Schedule short moments just for you and treat them like important appointments

• Use local support such as Northamptonshire Carers’ wellbeing services

• Build a network and accept help when it is offered

• Track how you feel before and after self-care to see the difference

Above all, remember that you are entitled to look after your own wellbeing. Carers are legally entitled to an assessment which considers their personal needs. This can open doors to respite and support.

My Commitment

Working with Donna and other unpaid carers has shown me how important it is to provide safe, affordable spaces for self care. I will always do what I can to support carers, whether through discounted packages, links to local charities, or simply by offering time and understanding.

Final Thoughts

If you are a carer, please know that self-care is not selfish. It is essential. Looking after your health allows you to continue your caring role with strength and compassion.

If you are connected to a carer, remind them they deserve time for themselves and share details of charities like Northamptonshire Carers who can help.

And if you are in Northamptonshire and would like to explore the benefits of massage as part of your self-care, I would love to support you.

✨ You deserve care too.

Talk soon,

Amy Farley xx

Ruby Rose Skin & Wellbeing

Why No Job Is Worth Sacrificing Your Health And Happiness

Over the past few days I’ve had so many conversations with friends, clients, and fellow therapists that have all circled around the same theme: being stuck in jobs that make us miserable, stressed, or even unwell. Some of the people I’ve spoken with are still in those environments, some have already made the leap to something new, and others are midway through the process of getting out.

What struck me is how similar the stories sound. The constant dread, the physical toll, the way it chips away at your energy...and equally, the sheer relief that comes when you finally step away.

I know this because I’ve lived it.

My own turning point

A few years back I was in a corporate HR role that, to put it plainly, was making me ill. I'd been in HR for 16 years, I chased salary increases, promotions and I made it to some senior roles in what appeared to be a flourishing career. Did I ever really enjoy it? I'm not so sure. Certainly in the later years I became more and more unfulfilled and frustrated with corporate cultures and commercial decisions that damaged the emotional wellbeing of the very people that worked everyday to keep it alive. My stress levels were through the roof. I’d wake up with a tight chest, I felt constantly drained, and I wasn’t really “me” anymore.

One week, I took time off and went to Wales with my amazing husband and young daughter. It was the first time in months that I could really breathe properly. You know those deep, properly fill your lungs kind of breaths. Until then, I hadn't even realised that I wasn't breathing properly! Out there, with space to think, my husband and I talked a lot and I asked myself the hard questions: What makes me happy? What am I good at? And what kind of life do I actually want? What changes can we make as a family to facilitate such a big transition?

The answers came quickly. I’d always been great at massage. I loved how it made people feel and I knew in my gut that doing this full time, for myself, would bring me the happiness and balance I craved.

So we made a plan.

I retrained, studying in the evenings after work. I started seeing clients on weekends, building things up slowly while still in my HR role. The more I learned and the more I treated clients, the better I felt. Even though I was still in that full-time role that brought me such unhappiness, I had a light at the end of the tunnel. A plan. A future. The cloud above me slowly evaporated the closer I got to that light.

When the time came, I handed in my notice and stepped into life as a full-time massage and beauty therapist.

What changed

I’ll be honest. I earn less than half of what I did in HR. But I’ve gained so much more. I am more present (physically and emotionally) for my family, my health is better, my energy is higher and I am HAPPY! Of course, I still have stresses but my stress is different now. These are my stresses...and crucially, I’m the one in control of them. If something isn’t working in my business, I can change it.

One of my clients recently told me that my story inspired them to finally make the change themselves. During their treatment that evening I could feel the difference. They were lighter, more relaxed, and the positive energy coming from them was almost tangible.

That’s what stepping out of the wrong job can do.

The science backs it up

Research shows that chronic workplace stress isn’t just unpleasant, it’s dangerous. Studies from the American Psychological Association have linked toxic workplaces to higher risks of anxiety, depression, heart problems, and even weakened immunity. The World Health Organisation has also recognised burnout as an occupational phenomenon that can have serious health consequences.

No salary or benefits package can outweigh that.

You don’t need to do it overnight

If you’re reading this and you feel stuck, please know that you don’t need to quit tomorrow. What you need is a plan. Break it down into manageable steps. That might mean retraining, saving money, or building something on the side while you still work.

Most importantly, don’t bottle it up. Talk to your loved ones. Share how you feel with people you trust. Sometimes just saying it out loud can ease the weight you’ve been carrying. You’ll often find that those closest to you want nothing more than to support you.

You are not trapped

Your job is not your identity, and it’s certainly not your life sentence. Whether you're 25 or 55, you can choose a healthier, happier path. I’m living proof of that.

And you’re not alone. The data shows that success often comes even later in life:

• The average age of successful business founders hovers around 42 to 45 years old, with many of the most high-growth ventures launched by founders in their middle age.

• The ones who build the fastest-growing companies—those in the top 0.1 %—found them around age 45.

• A 50-year-old founder is 2 to 2.8 times more likely to achieve major success compared to someone in their mid-20s, and a 60-year-old can be 3 times as likely to launch a thriving startup.

• In the world of small business ownership, roughly 60 % of entrepreneurs are aged 40 to 60, and the average small business owner tends to fall between 45 and 54 years old.

  
  

That means your age brings something powerful: more clarity, resilience, life and work experience, and often a tighter-knit network. All of that makes you more likely to succeed—not less.

Me living happier days

You can choose differently

Your job is not the sum of who you are. You can walk away, design a new chapter, and build a career and life that actually feel good. Whether that means starting a wellbeing business, changing industries, or simply stepping into something that gives you back your energy, it is possible.

I’m not saying it’s easy. But it is worth it.

If you’re considering a move into massage, beauty, or wellbeing, I’d love to share what I’ve learned on my own journey. But even if that’s not your route, my message is the same: your health and happiness are worth far more than any job title or payslip and if you have any questions about what worked for me, drop me a message HERE.

Start small. Make a plan. Reach out for support. And give yourself permission to imagine a life where you feel lighter, calmer, and in control.

Because no job and no amount of money is worth making you unwell.

References

• American Psychological Association, Stress in America

• World Health Organisation, Burnout an occupational phenomenon

• Harvard Business Review, “Research: The Average Age of a Successful Startup Founder Is 45”

• MIT Sloan, “Age and High-Growth Entrepreneurship”

• LeadStaff, “A Study of 2.7 Million Startups Found the Ideal Age to Start a Business”

• Clifford-Lewis, “Most Successful Entrepreneurs Are Older Than You Think”

• Apollo Technical, “Entrepreneur Statistics”

• Digital Web Solutions, “Average Age of Small Business Owners”

Massage for Perimenopause & Menopause: How It Can Really Help

Perimenopause and menopause can feel like your body’s gone off script. Hormones that have quietly worked in the background for years suddenly shift gears, and with that come hot flushes, night sweats, brain fog, anxiety, poor sleep, joint stiffness and mood changes.

It’s a lot.

While HRT and lifestyle changes like nutrition and exercise are often talked about, one area that doesn’t get enough attention is massage therapy and how powerful it can be for managing symptoms.

What’s happening in the body?

Oestrogen levels start to fluctuate in perimenopause and eventually decline in menopause. Oestrogen plays a big role in regulating serotonin (our “feel-good” brain chemical), body temperature, sleep and joint health. When it drops, you can feel it everywhere, physically, mentally and emotionally.

At the same time, the stress hormone cortisol often creeps up because your body is under pressure adjusting to these changes. High cortisol means worse sleep, more anxiety, increased inflammation and even more hot flushes.

How massage helps

Massage isn’t a magic cure for menopause (nothing is). What it does is work with your nervous system and body chemistry to ease the load. Here’s how:

• Reduces cortisol and boosts serotoninResearch shows massage lowers cortisol and increases serotonin and dopamine. That means better mood balance, reduced anxiety and support against those hormonal dips.

• Improves sleep qualityWhen your nervous system is calmed through massage, your body has an easier time reaching deep, restorative sleep, which can feel impossible during night sweats or insomnia phases.

• Relieves joint and muscle painLower oestrogen is linked with increased joint stiffness and muscle aches. Massage increases circulation, reduces inflammation markers and keeps muscles and fascia more mobile.

• Supports lymphatic flowMany women notice bloating and water retention around menopause. Massage helps stimulate the lymphatic system, which can ease that heavy, puffy feeling.

• Creates time to breatheSometimes the biggest gift is stepping out of the chaos and giving yourself space. Menopause can feel relentless. Lying in a calm treatment room, being cared for, is more powerful than it sounds.

Massage isn’t just “me-time” or pampering. For many women in their 40s and 50s, it becomes part of their self-care toolkit alongside movement, nutrition and, if chosen, HRT. Regular treatments can create a buffer against the stress, help you feel more like yourself again and give you a safe space to pause.

If you’re going through perimenopause or menopause and struggling with the symptoms, know you’re not alone. And if your body is crying out for rest and support, massage could be one of the kindest ways to give it that. Click here to book your massage session.